Wednesday, June 20, 2007
The lonely shoes
Tonight is a weird space and time for me.
You see, it's been quite a hectic week since returning from vacation.
Sometimes people ask how I manage to keep focused on things like fitness and health ... especially considering the first time I even considered lifting a weight was almost ten years ago.
WOW.
That seems like such a long time. Here I sit, late at night, typing because my running shoes are lonely in the closet.
What's my point?
My point is that I get a lump in my throat thinking about the last time I went on a long run. I don't think about the time it takes to pound my legs for three or four hours, or how I can barely move the next day. I don't dwell on the before or the after or how this run might have impacted my weight to the next day.
Nope. I get that lump because of the connection ... the moment. That point in time where I'm connecting with me and doing something that is uniquely, what can I say, human?
I wrote earlier about some frustrations with not being consistent. It is tough for me to even write this because I look at the title, "Road to Ultra" and think about how much fire and excitement there was.
I must admit. I think positively but I allowed myself to get sidetracked. The early finish at my first marathon attempt followed by the conviction to follow it up and then to get injured affected me in a surprising way.
No, I'm not even blaming the injury. And I can't say it "bruised my pride" because it really wasn't about what you or anyone else thought.
It affected me because it taught me something about me. It was a hard lesson to learn but I had to pause and eat a little of my own cooking.
If you're still with me ... what I mean is simple: my book begins with the simple call to action: make the decision. You have to create a choice. And it's not good enough to say it or even be excited about it. It has to REALLY be there. A deep-down choice. Without it becoming a part of who you are, that choice can easily dissolve in a barrage of excuses.
Let's face it. Life happens. A life with drive and purpose will move through that and continue on. When it's a shallow self-promise, however, it can easily fade.
I'm in a position that I haven't been in for a very long time. It's an odd position. When I was focused on competing in a bodybuilding show and training hard and dieting, I reached a realization that I was pursuing that goal for the wrong reason. I stopped what I was doing and shifted focus. That was difficult and was the first time I publicly "halted" a drive towards a goal but I knew deep down it was the right thing to do and that I was focusing on more important things.
What is interesting about my current path is that I know down to the core of my body that I am meant to run an ultramarathon. I've been blessed with a path and journey that has taught me humility and therefore I do not need to pound out a longer-than-marathon distance simply to gain attention or receive praise. If I wanted to do that, I'd do what I'm comfortable with and know how to do: I'd cut to extremely low body fat and take another set of pictures and plaster them online.
But that's not my point. My pictures are there to inspire and show what is possible, and there is no need for more. And I don't believe I have to consistently "prove myself" to others ... in fact, right now I'm finding I communicate best through my articles and online interactions and feel like this is really part of my "purpose" - to connect and share that power that you CAN change with others. That is my GREATEST reward and why I cherish every little response or e-mail I receive related to the site, articles, the book, or other items and celebrate every review at Amazon.com.
A review doesn't increase the ranking of my book or necessarily impact sales. What it does do is show me that the time and effort put into it impacted another life and that everything I do and have done is worthwhile and I should never stop because there can always be just one more person to assist with turning a corner and empowering themselves to change.
No, the ultramarathon is different because it's a very personal journey. Perhaps that is why this journal is an interesting journal for me - the journal makes it a public process. I've revealed more than I have at any other point and I know I must continue to do so.
Why? Because it's important to understand the drive, the journey, the process. Because it's also part of a new book I'm writing - not a literal one, but new chapters of my life.
Tonight I found myself sitting down trying to focus on direction and simply typed in "Jeremy Likness destiny" to the Google search engine. I was interested to come across two articles.
The first was a network marketing article entitled, YOU are the postcard. It reminded me of how network marketing impacted my journey, but how it is an example of a mistake I've made in the past: hanging onto something too tightly and trying to force it.
See, network marketing opened doors and was something I was good at. In a industry where most people don't sign up a single person, I connected with several hundred happy customers along with a dozen or so entrepreneurs in my "downline." I soon realized, however, that this was a vehicle to leverage some income and create some opportunities but that ultimately it was not how I wanted to create my future. It connected me with the right people and mentors but I shifted my focus to my own products, site, etc. It took me a long time to let go of that network marketing business.
Part of it was because I really did enjoy the products and the team building. Part of it was because why would you ever stop something that is generating leveraged, residual income? But ultimately my heart knew I would never devote the right time and energy to this project because my passion is to connect with people across the industry. I would rather write the network marketing article and connect with people from a dozen different companies than be shoe-horned into the single business. So, I let that piece go and the article was a potent reminder for me of how this was a launching pad but not the final solution - you can see my passion for health.
Then I reached another article, The Courage to Live. In it, I spoke of our "victim cards" we are so ready to play.
And I realized I was playing my cards.
Even though I wrote an article about overcoming that.
WOW!
What a reveleation. Can you imagine ... creating a "lesson" that comes back several years later to force you into the role of your own student? I read, and I listened, and I learned.
Sure, I've tackled quite a major project with the wireless company I'm helping to build. But I learned long ago if I'm unhappy or in a stressful job, I can choose to change my fate. This was never a "job" for me, but an opportunity to create a challenge on a higher level than I've taken on before. And it has been challenging ... which is why I embrace it. I've been pushed to levels I've never experienced before and that is where I believe we thrive and discover who we really are.
It would be easy to say, "I'm busy" and then cop out on my own fitness. I've been eating healthy - I'm fortunate to have a family that loves healthy foods. My wife and daughter love to cook and I get delicious, tasty, healthy meals every day. But the exercise gets to suffer.
Again, can I blame investing long hours in the other company? Can I blame the extra time I spent late in the evening writing a few articles and slowly nudging my own site along?
No way. Because if I told you I didn't have my moments camped out in front of the TV or sitting down doing nothing because I talked myself into the notion that "I have to unwind," I'd be lying. Those moments exist, and each one is an opportunity to be involving my fitness rather than devolving my brain.
Some may say I'm too hard on myself, and perhaps I am, but fortunately I've learned to look inward. Let's be honest. I'm still very passionate and excited about the way my writing and teachings have connected with others and right now I feel like the cobbler with the broken shoes. I've let myself get a bit out of shape ... the injury led me to lifting weights and that led to vacation and that led to me here, right now.
So I realized there comes a time when you can exhaust everyone around you by talking about it, or you can do it. I decided that it is important to write and share that when I receive emails about upcoming races, I get a lump in my throat because I miss the "good old days" of running consistently. Then I have to laugh, because those "old days" were mere weeks ago. My life is running in fast forward but I'm also ignoring my own advice in, "I Can, I Can't" by saying EITHER I'm on this strict, disciplined running schedule OR I sit and feel sorry for myself for not being on a strict, disciplined running schedule.
Funny, no? So I'm taking my own advice. I wanted to write it and share it because I am human, I do reach these crossroads. What's exciting is that it took a tidal wave to push me over the edge in 2000 when I began making changes to my life. Now I have that passion deep within my bones, so while I might sometimes find myself struggling a bit, I only have to be still long enough to let it radiate out and then I'm ready to propel forward again.
I'm sharing this because I feel this is a turning point. I don't know when or how but there will be some major positive changes that I feel are working on the inside and are about to burst outside. Do I have a plan yet - some specific nutrition regimen or workout program to share and dictate and follow? No.
But I'm still firmly on the Road to Ultra.
You haven't read many posts about runs lately, and my "running meter" shows a big fat "ZERO" for the month of June.
We shall have to remedy that. The time for speaking is growing old as the time for action draws near.
Thank you for letting me share this moment, and I look forward to revealing the days to come.
Warmly,
Jeremy Likness
You see, it's been quite a hectic week since returning from vacation.
Sometimes people ask how I manage to keep focused on things like fitness and health ... especially considering the first time I even considered lifting a weight was almost ten years ago.
WOW.
That seems like such a long time. Here I sit, late at night, typing because my running shoes are lonely in the closet.
What's my point?
My point is that I get a lump in my throat thinking about the last time I went on a long run. I don't think about the time it takes to pound my legs for three or four hours, or how I can barely move the next day. I don't dwell on the before or the after or how this run might have impacted my weight to the next day.
Nope. I get that lump because of the connection ... the moment. That point in time where I'm connecting with me and doing something that is uniquely, what can I say, human?
I wrote earlier about some frustrations with not being consistent. It is tough for me to even write this because I look at the title, "Road to Ultra" and think about how much fire and excitement there was.
I must admit. I think positively but I allowed myself to get sidetracked. The early finish at my first marathon attempt followed by the conviction to follow it up and then to get injured affected me in a surprising way.
No, I'm not even blaming the injury. And I can't say it "bruised my pride" because it really wasn't about what you or anyone else thought.
It affected me because it taught me something about me. It was a hard lesson to learn but I had to pause and eat a little of my own cooking.
If you're still with me ... what I mean is simple: my book begins with the simple call to action: make the decision. You have to create a choice. And it's not good enough to say it or even be excited about it. It has to REALLY be there. A deep-down choice. Without it becoming a part of who you are, that choice can easily dissolve in a barrage of excuses.
Let's face it. Life happens. A life with drive and purpose will move through that and continue on. When it's a shallow self-promise, however, it can easily fade.
I'm in a position that I haven't been in for a very long time. It's an odd position. When I was focused on competing in a bodybuilding show and training hard and dieting, I reached a realization that I was pursuing that goal for the wrong reason. I stopped what I was doing and shifted focus. That was difficult and was the first time I publicly "halted" a drive towards a goal but I knew deep down it was the right thing to do and that I was focusing on more important things.
What is interesting about my current path is that I know down to the core of my body that I am meant to run an ultramarathon. I've been blessed with a path and journey that has taught me humility and therefore I do not need to pound out a longer-than-marathon distance simply to gain attention or receive praise. If I wanted to do that, I'd do what I'm comfortable with and know how to do: I'd cut to extremely low body fat and take another set of pictures and plaster them online.
But that's not my point. My pictures are there to inspire and show what is possible, and there is no need for more. And I don't believe I have to consistently "prove myself" to others ... in fact, right now I'm finding I communicate best through my articles and online interactions and feel like this is really part of my "purpose" - to connect and share that power that you CAN change with others. That is my GREATEST reward and why I cherish every little response or e-mail I receive related to the site, articles, the book, or other items and celebrate every review at Amazon.com.
A review doesn't increase the ranking of my book or necessarily impact sales. What it does do is show me that the time and effort put into it impacted another life and that everything I do and have done is worthwhile and I should never stop because there can always be just one more person to assist with turning a corner and empowering themselves to change.
No, the ultramarathon is different because it's a very personal journey. Perhaps that is why this journal is an interesting journal for me - the journal makes it a public process. I've revealed more than I have at any other point and I know I must continue to do so.
Why? Because it's important to understand the drive, the journey, the process. Because it's also part of a new book I'm writing - not a literal one, but new chapters of my life.
Tonight I found myself sitting down trying to focus on direction and simply typed in "Jeremy Likness destiny" to the Google search engine. I was interested to come across two articles.
The first was a network marketing article entitled, YOU are the postcard. It reminded me of how network marketing impacted my journey, but how it is an example of a mistake I've made in the past: hanging onto something too tightly and trying to force it.
See, network marketing opened doors and was something I was good at. In a industry where most people don't sign up a single person, I connected with several hundred happy customers along with a dozen or so entrepreneurs in my "downline." I soon realized, however, that this was a vehicle to leverage some income and create some opportunities but that ultimately it was not how I wanted to create my future. It connected me with the right people and mentors but I shifted my focus to my own products, site, etc. It took me a long time to let go of that network marketing business.
Part of it was because I really did enjoy the products and the team building. Part of it was because why would you ever stop something that is generating leveraged, residual income? But ultimately my heart knew I would never devote the right time and energy to this project because my passion is to connect with people across the industry. I would rather write the network marketing article and connect with people from a dozen different companies than be shoe-horned into the single business. So, I let that piece go and the article was a potent reminder for me of how this was a launching pad but not the final solution - you can see my passion for health.
Then I reached another article, The Courage to Live. In it, I spoke of our "victim cards" we are so ready to play.
And I realized I was playing my cards.
Even though I wrote an article about overcoming that.
WOW!
What a reveleation. Can you imagine ... creating a "lesson" that comes back several years later to force you into the role of your own student? I read, and I listened, and I learned.
Sure, I've tackled quite a major project with the wireless company I'm helping to build. But I learned long ago if I'm unhappy or in a stressful job, I can choose to change my fate. This was never a "job" for me, but an opportunity to create a challenge on a higher level than I've taken on before. And it has been challenging ... which is why I embrace it. I've been pushed to levels I've never experienced before and that is where I believe we thrive and discover who we really are.
It would be easy to say, "I'm busy" and then cop out on my own fitness. I've been eating healthy - I'm fortunate to have a family that loves healthy foods. My wife and daughter love to cook and I get delicious, tasty, healthy meals every day. But the exercise gets to suffer.
Again, can I blame investing long hours in the other company? Can I blame the extra time I spent late in the evening writing a few articles and slowly nudging my own site along?
No way. Because if I told you I didn't have my moments camped out in front of the TV or sitting down doing nothing because I talked myself into the notion that "I have to unwind," I'd be lying. Those moments exist, and each one is an opportunity to be involving my fitness rather than devolving my brain.
Some may say I'm too hard on myself, and perhaps I am, but fortunately I've learned to look inward. Let's be honest. I'm still very passionate and excited about the way my writing and teachings have connected with others and right now I feel like the cobbler with the broken shoes. I've let myself get a bit out of shape ... the injury led me to lifting weights and that led to vacation and that led to me here, right now.
So I realized there comes a time when you can exhaust everyone around you by talking about it, or you can do it. I decided that it is important to write and share that when I receive emails about upcoming races, I get a lump in my throat because I miss the "good old days" of running consistently. Then I have to laugh, because those "old days" were mere weeks ago. My life is running in fast forward but I'm also ignoring my own advice in, "I Can, I Can't" by saying EITHER I'm on this strict, disciplined running schedule OR I sit and feel sorry for myself for not being on a strict, disciplined running schedule.
Funny, no? So I'm taking my own advice. I wanted to write it and share it because I am human, I do reach these crossroads. What's exciting is that it took a tidal wave to push me over the edge in 2000 when I began making changes to my life. Now I have that passion deep within my bones, so while I might sometimes find myself struggling a bit, I only have to be still long enough to let it radiate out and then I'm ready to propel forward again.
I'm sharing this because I feel this is a turning point. I don't know when or how but there will be some major positive changes that I feel are working on the inside and are about to burst outside. Do I have a plan yet - some specific nutrition regimen or workout program to share and dictate and follow? No.
But I'm still firmly on the Road to Ultra.
You haven't read many posts about runs lately, and my "running meter" shows a big fat "ZERO" for the month of June.
We shall have to remedy that. The time for speaking is growing old as the time for action draws near.
Thank you for letting me share this moment, and I look forward to revealing the days to come.
Warmly,
Jeremy Likness
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]